Unconditionally accept that it was NOT their fault

Shared by my friend (Tridib) on Facebook..

A silent prayer for “Damini”. Only silence for the parents – as I have no context to understand their feelings.
Admiration for all the people who have gathered around India – hopefully Governments are listening.Sad truth – since this event, I have read of at least 15 rape cases reported in Media. Surprisingly, none were wearing skirts or t-shirts – it appears they were wearing sarees or salwar kameez according to India tradition (I do not comment on the 6 year old victim!)
I do not know if the govt. will listen, if the police will ponder. But I know for a fact there will be a rape tomorrow. And we cannot stay on the street forever. Let us also accept that.The point is while all seem to be focused on the crime and the rapists, we have all forgotten about the victims. Society as I now it (and this is not India-centric) will now start its time-consuming process of slowly murdering the spirit if not the body of the victim – first by curiosity, then by innuendos, isolation and humiliation. Hanging the rapist, quartering the rapist seem like a easier task than changing ourselves and our built-in prejudices. We live in a time where certain communities believe marrying victim to the rapist is a punishment for the rapist and an acceptable solution for the victim!Let us resolve not to murder the victims of their identity – Understand their trauma, accept unconditionally that it WAS NOT THEIR FAULT(note to TMC supporters!), and respect and love them as we did before. Then we would have made a start.

Punitive measures did not stop dowry, honor killings. Legislating society is difficult. Politicians today sometimes balk at criticizing the khap or practice of sati. Changes at home and communities we stay in may be easier. That is in our control.

Maybe that is a fool’s dream.

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